Sometimes I wonder if things really happened before, cause maybe it feels like a long time ago or I try so hard to move on so when everything is fine to me, I afraid if I dreaming. Instead of scare or dread to be in a relationship or meet some new people, I write down my feelings, to remind me of those things in the past are one hundred percent true and it’s part of who I am now, and I do love who I am now.
I often think relationship is not my thing, or I will never meet someone makes me want to stay with him forever, and I am sure there are so many people have the same beliefs as me, it’s totally fine to feel this way even sharing with others is a brave behavior, what we need to do first is to calm down and do the things make us comfortable, in other words, we can spend more time on ourselves, know ourselves first, then fall in love with ourselves, which is a practical choice anyway.
If you don’t even know yourself, how do you know what you like? Or who do you love? Passion and impulse may mislead you to think that you are in love, so think twice!
The following practices can lead you to love yourself more, which I am also working on it :
- Do the things makes you feel like you. It could be sing a song, play the piano or write down your feelings, the more time you spend on yourself, the more you will know about yourself, which is quite important cause to truly understand ourselves is never easy, it takes time and patience, and of course lots of decision. I assume you know what is your things, however if you don’t know what you like, it will be simple to find out what things you are not into it, and don’t do the things might make you upset.
- Do things in your way. If you like to eat slow, do it, if you into make a list, do it! Those things must be no harm to people or break the law, otherwise it can make you feel a sense of satisfaction. Sometimes I like to enjoy the process, I love to draw slow and play the song I wrote, you can reach your full potential in it and create your imagination into your works, that’s why I love process much more than result.Rules are not my thing so I do the artworks without rules and I felt so happy when I am addicted into the art world. Everyone should try it, you will feel a very different change gradually.
- Do those things you always say I’ll do it tomorrow. You need to give yourself a chance to try new things and a room to make mistakes, it’s totally fine to be wrong occasionally, learning from mistakes is kind of a life compulsory course. Ask yourself what take you so long to try it? Figure it out and conquer it. Mostly because of laziness or too fear of failure, we all been there somehow, labeling and making excuse for ourselves before anyone does. I surmise that people are care about others’ perspectives too much, we really don’t need to overdo that, care about something is great because that mean you take to heart, but living for yourself is what you should focus more on. The hardest part of action is the first step, questioning and no confidence to ourselves are probable happens from time to time, first of all you have to adjust your mind, thinking back your bravest moments formerly, after that giving yourself a pep talk, like “You did it before, there’s no reason you can not do it this time.” “Things have never been done by themselves.” “You’ll never know how things goes until you start it.”etc. You are the one who knows yourself best, using that cognition to help you take that step!
- List your strengths and weaknesses and use them appropriately. Embrace the fact that no one is perfect, human beings can not be perfect, when the situation requires a trade-off, let it go! Life is too hard to keep holding stuff, let things go, and maybe some good stuff will sneak in to your life secretly. You can know yourself better through this, maybe you will even find some new quirks, it’s exciting to have something new in life! Either strengths or weaknesses, they all make you who you are today, you should be proud of these features since no one will ever have the exact same features as you are. Using strengths properly and getting along with weaknesses, for example, I am an outgoing person, it would be helpful if I’m at a party or a meeting full of stranger; I have no patience, so I usually take a big deep breath when I am about to be irritable, that’s very useful to me. Now is your turn, list your strengths and weaknesses and let them be used appropriately!
- Focus on yourself no matter what others say. Don’t let people make your own decision. In the era of rapid change, Internet gives us good and bad influence, we can learn and perform ourselves via Internet, yet can compare with others or let comments on the Internet affect your thoughts and emotions. It’s hard for some people to stop caring about others’ opinions, but as I said, human beings can not be perfect, I would like you to feel happy in every moment while you alive, this is the most important thing in your life.
Are you happy? If others’ thoughts cannot makes you happy, you can let it go and start paying less attention, what you are doing and your feelings are way more important than some random guy on Internet, and sometimes it’s the concern of relatives and friends, moderate care is fine, too much care often becomes a burden accidentally.
Relationship is like a cup of coffee in the morning or a hot chocolate in freeze winter, most of the time it makes you feel warm and happy from the bottom of your heart, this is natural and cannot be forced. If you cannot feel this feeling for a while, I suggest you to talk to your partner, because only conversation can communicate each other’s opinions, maybe he/she/they have a hard time and really need some spaces, you will never know unless someone talks, don’t hesitate to talk to your partner, perhaps the misunderstanding can be solves here.
Assuming the situation is that there is no love between you, letting go is the best way to end this once beautiful relationship. After all, the two of you have experienced so many things and those good days, letting each other free could be the last tenderness.
Single don’t have to worry or be stressed out, fate will bring you the right person, before that, let’s fall in love with ourselves! This will be a wonderful spiritual journey:)
